Lullibies and Nailpolish
by Akatsuki Kunoichis
Summary: first story. Olivia's and Scout's world flips when Hidan Deidara and Sasori are found in their living room. Not Yaoi M for suggestive content, posible lemons and strong cursing
1. Chapter 1

Lullabies and Nail Polish

_Chapter 1_

_1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4  
give me more lovin then I've ever had.  
Make it all better when I'm feelin sad.  
Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not.  
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad.  
Barely gettin mad,  
I'm so glad I found you.  
I love bein around you.  
You make it easy,  
as easy as 1 2, (1 2 3 4.)  
There's only one thing two do three words four you.  
I love you.  
(I love you)  
there's only one way two say those three words  
and that's what I'll do.  
I love you.  
(I love you)_

I woke up to the alarm on my phone. It was Tuesday morning in late august. I lay there listening to the unbearable silence echoing from my house. Everyday was the same. I always woke up to an empty house and went to bed in the same empty house. Sometimes I truly believed I lived alone. The only sign that my parents even existed was the fact that the taxes were getting paid and the rare phone call. My dad was a general in Iraq and my mother was doctor on the battlefield. My father never comes home and mother kept getting called back for service so she just decided to stay there. Right now she was a month from reprieve (meaning one more month alone.) before she would have to go back to treat a new wave of soldiers. And there was always that looming chance that they wouldn't come back at all.

I sighed and got out of bed. I am a 17 year old girl with short brown, almost black hair with longish bangs that came down to the middle of my nose and black squared glasses. I have a slim figure but always wore clothes that didn't show off much. I just liked to be comfortable. I walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. While under the warm spray, I thought about calling my best friend, Scout, to invite her to watch the new episodes of Naruto(our favorite anime) that I Tivo-ed. Scout has long auburn hair that used to be blonde but got steadily darker as she grew. She has a small piece of side bangs that she often tucks behind her ear. She's strong, tough, and beautiful. No one ever wanted to mess with her. I was sometimes jealous of her loving parents, good looks, and charisma, but she often got carried away with the cussing and violent habits she had acquired. Her favorite character from Naruto is Hidan and mine are Deidara and Sasori. She was my closest friend ever, and I don't know what I'd do with out her. I stepped out of the warm shower and into my beat up denim shorts that were once my jeans, so they naturally frayed at the ends, but I liked it that way. I pulled on a fitting navy blue T-shirt and a black jacket on top. I combed my wet hair and brushed my teeth. Then padded down the stairs to find me some food. I was in my spacious kitchen, in the process of making myself some cereal, when I heard a thud followed by 2 thumps from the living room. My first thought was 'OMFG! BURGLARS!' so I grabbed the bat I had left out for the occasion (don't ask why, I'm just paranoid that way) as I listened to the muffled profanities coming from the living room. A new thought crossed my mind: 'Crappy burglars' I fought my fear and pushed myself around the corner, only to see 3 disoriented anime characters sitting (or laying) in various positions in/on my furniture. The thud, I learned, came from a dazed Sasori who lay sprawled out on my catnip rug. (For my cats, I'm not that weird 0_o) one thump came from Hidan, who lay half on-half off my sofa, with his head slightly bleeding from the impact with the floor. I also learned that he was the source of the muffled cusswords. And the owner of the last thump was none other than, Deidara, who happened to land on the chair, but slipping down off of it.

"Why did that hurt?" Sasori whined rubbing his head tenderly.

"De-deiara, S-sasori, Hidan?!" I yelled in disbelief

"Yeah, and who the hell are you, Bitch?!" Hidan stated rudely, "And why do you have a fucking baseball bat?" he added

"Hidan, un!" Deidara scolded, "We're sorry, un. We don't really know...what are you doing, un?"

Before he could finish, I punched in scout's number into my cell phone as fast as I could. She picked up after the first ring.

"Sup, Olivia?"

"SCOUT, GET OVER HERE!!!!" I yelled into the receiver.

"Sure, sure, why?"

"JUST HURRY!!!" I begged and hung up.

"What is she doing?" Sasori said, with no emotion what so ever. Hidan crudely answered,

"I think she's calling for fucking back up."

"Back up? Why?!" Sasori panicked.

"No! I'm asking the questions here! Why are you in my house!?!" was the only reply he got from me.

"How the fuck should I know?" Hidan said unhelpfully. Just then, the door bell rang.

"YES! Scouts here! She'll help explain things better!" I thought out loud.

"COME IN!!! NOW!!! HURRY!!!" I shouted frantically down the hall.

"Yo? Olivia? Where are you?"

"LIVING ROOM!!! HURRY!" I repeated and raised my bat to swinging position, because Hidan was starting to get up. "DON'T MOVE!" I commanded

"Yeah, Yeah, I'm coming." I heard scout say and as she appeared in the door way. "So what's the rush?" she questioned and I pointed to Deidara and Sasori.

"THEM! Wait…" Then I murmured "Gimme your hand." To scout and she obeyed and I molded it so it was pointing at Hidan. "THEM!" I said again. Scouts hand dropped along with her jaw.

"Whoa, Hidan, Blondie, and Sex Puppet!!!! What the fuck are they doing in your living room?!" she demanded

"s-sex puppet?!" Sasori said, taken aback, as Deidara examined a piece of his hair, contemplating Scout's nickname for him.

"What part of 'how the fuck should I know' don't you women get?!" Hidan replied. "And who the fuck are you two?!" he added.

"I think the lighter haired one is scout, un." Deidara commented.

"And I believe this 'scout' called the dark-haired one 'Olivia'"

"wow that's not sex puppet," Sasori smirks triumphantly, "That's fucking Sherlock Holmes!!!" Sasori smirk fell at Scout's final remark.

"So, now that we know your names, how do you know our names, un?" Deidara questioned.

"Good question!" I congratulated him "take it away scout!" I said motioning for her to continue where I had left off.

"What am I supposed to fucking say?!" she demanded

"You know I suck at explaining." I reminded her. "Besides, that's why I invited you over… Kind of."

"Um… okay…" she began and turned back to me "Where's your Tivo at? You keep moving it."

"Basement. Why?"

"Why can't this bitch get a full fucking sentence out?" Hidan growled and pointed at scout. Turning to Hidan, scout challenged,

"Who you calling bitch, you bloody fucking moron."

"You wanna start something, onna?" Hidan spat at her.

"Oh, its so on!" scout declared. That started the most epic cursing war ever that we are skipping to spare the ears of small children and the elderly. Knowing scout, this cussing war wouldn't end soon, so in the meantime, I decided to carry out Scout's plan of showing them the Naruto episodes I had staked up in my Tivo queue.

"C'mon." I said to Sasori and Deidara and grabbed both their hands and pulled them down stairs to the basement. We had nearly reached to bottom when I felt something licking my hand. "Erm… Deidara, your hand mouth is licking me." I muttered, blushing. Deidara turned a shade of red that matched Sasori's hair color.

"Sorry, un. I can't really control them." He admitted.

"HEY OLIVIA!" scout called down as I started up the first episodes. "DON'T SHOW THEM THE ONES WHERE THEY FUCKING DIE!!!" She commanded.

"WHY WOULD I DO THAT, I'm not you!!!" I yelled back at her

"DIE?!" all 3 of them screeched in unison.

"Way to brake it too them nicely" I murmured.

"Bu-but how?" Deidara whimpered.

"HOW WHAT?" she yelled. (She has good hearing)

"How do we… we… you know."

"ummmm…" I said, not wanting to be the one to tell them.

"DEIDARA, YOU BLOW YOURSELF UP, SASORI, YOU GET BEAT UP BY YOUR GRANDMA AND A 15 YEAR OLD BITCH WITH PINK HAIR," Scout explained 'nicely' "And Hidan, you get blown up by a lazy ass genius." "Oh…" he trailed off.

"Who dies first? *cough* Hidan *cough*" Sasori wondered (and coughed) out loud.

"Actually, you die first, SEX PUPPET!" Scout told him, with out helping very much.

"Yeah… so… I'll just show you guys the one where you go hunt for Gaara." I spoke up, finding it on my Tivo. "Oh wait, Sasori, you die in this one. Is that okay? Or do you wanna watch another one?" I realized.

"You can't not show him, he's not in any others!" scout reminded me.

"WHAT?!" Sasori yelled and we heard Hidan snicker. "I'm only in one, and I die in it!?!" he demanded,

"Yeah, but you put up a hell of a fight." Scout added in a rare moment of niceness. I played the episode and sat back and we watched it. After a while, Hidan and scout came down to join us (Hidan with a bandage on his hand, I might add) I stole glances at the 3 anime characters as we watched. They seemed completely transfixed the entire time, their eyes never left the screen.

"Whoa, it's like us, but not us." Hidan attempted to speak importantly.

"Do I really sound like that, un?" Deidara asked, a little offended. Sasori still didn't look away from the TV, even after I had turned it off.

"We're still there." Sasori said in a dazed voice, talking about our reflections in the shiny TV screen.

"No, it's off." I told him pointing at the light that came on when ever the TV wasn't on.

"Yeah. but we're still there!" Sasori contradicted, a little more defensive this time.

"Well, yeah, but it's just our reflection. You're not really on a TV show anymore." I tried to explain (you know I suck at it) and turned the TV back on. It randomly turned on to the Spanish channel, advertising for tortillas. Hidan walked up to the TV and after a few moments of listening to the Spanish announcer, he began to converse with the TV in 'Spanish'. Well, it was Spanish but, it just wasn't relevant Spanish "Si, si, muy bein!"

"HIDAN?!" scout exclaimed

"You speak Spanish, un?" Deidara said, shocked. I listened closer to what he and the announcer were talking about. The announcer spieled about his tortillas and saying how they were the best quality and had the lowest price. And Hidan's response to this was

"Me duele mi watita!"

"No he doesn't speak Spanish." I concluded. "He just told the TV that he had a stomach ache, and the TV's advertising tortillas." I explained, having taken Spanish lessons until I knew the language enough. "Levantase tu mano!" he commanded at the TV. "He just told the TV to raise its hand."

"Shut up, Olivia, I'm trying to look smart here!" he yelled at me. "Trying, and failing." Sasori said. Scout picked up the remote and tossed it at Hidan (probably hoping it would hit him) and explained, "This is what you use to change the channels. Have fun with it." He caught it and started flipping through the channels as scout came up to join me in the kitchen.

"What do we do? How did they get here? How do we send them back? What if it takes time? What are we gonna do with them when we go to school?!" I panicked

"the answer to all those questions is idfk" was scouts extremely helpful answer. I was about fight her when a loud _moan_ came from the basement. We both turned our heads simultaneously to look at the basement door.

"What was that?" I asked

"I don't know. Lets check it out." Scout said and we ran down the stairs.

**_A/N: Onna= Woman (disrespectful)_**


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

_a loud moan came from the basement. We both turned our heads simultaneously to look at the basement door. _

_"What was that?" I asked _

_"I don't know. Let's check it out." Scout said and we ran down the stairs._

We rushed down stairs to see what was going on in the basement. We found a frightened Deidara under a blanket on the sofa/sofa bed, and Sasori was peeking through his fingers, so he could say he wasn't watching (if asked) and Hidan was glued to the TV, fascinated, and on the said TV screen, were girls I didn't know, doing things I don't wanna see.

"WHOLY JASHIN! THEY FOUND THE PORN CHANNEL!!!" Scout screamed. In a much calmer voice, she added, "Hey Olivia, when did we get a girl porn channel?"

"It came with the boy one." I sighed.

"UNN?!" Deidara yelped.

"Sorry, we're not as innocent as you thought." Scout implied. "WE?!" I cried, wanting to dive under a blanket myself.

"Why do you have a boy one, perv?" Hidan hinted.

"Why were you watching the girl one, perv?" scout countered. "Olivia, I had no part in any of this." Sasori lied.

"We saw you watching through your fingers." Scout emphasized.

"Damn!" sasori uttered.

"There you go with the 'we' again!" I said.

"In my defense, I'm a 35 year old man." Sasori continued.

"That's nice, pedo." Hidan remarked, momentarily looking away from the TV.

"I am NOT a pedophile!" Sasori exclaimed.

"yeah, we all know Deidara's the pedophile." Scout replied.

"NANI!?" Deidara shrieked.

"How?" Sasori questioned.

"You read too many fanfics." I laughed.

"No, I _write _too many fanfics." She corrected me, smiling.

"What the hell are fanfics?" Hidan wondered.

"THEY DON'T KNOW FANFICS!!!" Scout panicked. "It's our duty to show them what they've been missing!" Scout ranted.

"It's our 'duty' to corrupt their minds!?" I asked.

"You saw what Hidan and sasori were looking at!" she pointed out.

"It's our 'duty' to corrupt Deidara's mind!?" I rephrased.

"hmm," scout contemplated, "we'll start him off light, maybe a lime or two. As for sasori and Hidan, we'll give 'em hardcore lemony goodness." Scout schemed.

"Should we trust her?" Sasori asked me. "NO, absolutely not." I answered.

"Exactly which kind of 'lemony goodness' are you planning on showing them?" I asked Scout. She hesitated before answering.

"Hot Yaoi smex." She admitted. Looking around or the laptop she had left down here somewhere. Then, after finding it, brought up the website in tabs. "First a very sweet yaoi lemon for Deidara" scout says in a singsong voice … wait,

"YAOI LEMON, YOU SAID LIGHT!!!" I cried. Scout shrugs and said,

"Yeah well I changed my mind." And moved on to Sasori and Hidan.

"Bu…wha…I…you…insane! NO!" I protested. "I am completely against this!" I said, and then began reading over Deidara's shoulder.

"Olivia? Ooooooliiiiiiiiiviiiiiiiiiiaaaaaa?" scout asked, shaking my shoulder when I didn't respond.

"Huh? What?!" I asked and snapped out of the story.

"Everyone finished reading except for you." She told me and shut the window.

"HEYYYYYYYYY! I was reading that, un!" Deidara exclaimed, while scout forced Hidan to shut the laptop.

"Hidan, you're too smart for your own good." Scout scolded. "How?!" Sasori wondered, amazed that such a thing could be possible.

"He learned how to find other stories he hasn't read yet." She explained.

"So, are we supposed to act like that, un?" Deidara asked meekly me and scout shouted,

"NO!" in unison. Scout thought for a moment.

"We should probably figure out how they _do_ act, though."

"How we should act for…Dang! I chipped a nail!" he pouted. I looked down at my own hands.

"Yeah, me too." I admitted. Deidara smiled and said,

"I'll do you if you do me, un." Hidan snickered,

"Wow that's naughty Deidara." Deidara blushed and rephrased. "I was talking about painting nails, un!!!"

"Sure I'll paint your nails." I responded, ignoring Hidan's remark. Scout grabbed Hidan's hand.

"I'm doing your nails." She stated.

"No fucking way!" he roared, trying to jerk his hand away. She glared at him and he quickly reconsidered.

"I guess that would be okay." He said timidly.

"That's what I thought you said." She replied and she went up stairs to get the small bottles of nail polish. She came back down with four in her hand, but tossed two to me when Hidan wasn't looking. "Okay, pick one." She told him, holding out the two remaining bottles, which were pink and magenta colored. (that she had stolen from her sister for just such occasions. I mean, how often do you get to paint a violent sadomasochist's nails pink?)

"Aren't their any other colors?" he whined as I unscrewed the dark blue and black nail polish scout had thrown to me.

"No." she replied, "Now choose." She commanded, shoving the repulsive colors in his face again (A/N: **sorry about the 'repulsive' bit. We're emo. All we want are cookies!** _And reviews…sorta_)

"But what about _your_ nails?!" he insisted.

"We just ran out." She lied smugly.

"What about Deidara's nails? They look black!" he said, refusing to give in.

"It's just the angle." She convinced him. I snickered while carefully layering Deidara's nails with black and blue.

"Fine, then! The Magenta one!" he wailed unhappily.

"Thanks, un!" Deidara said when I finished.

"You're welcome. Now paint mine!" I said, extending my hand. "Sure, un. How do you want yours?" he asked

"Same way." I replied.

"Wait, Olivia, we should really decide who they are."

"Right." I tried to act interested.

"Hold still, un!" Deidara commanded.

"Sorry." I whispered.

"So?" I asked scout

"So," she started, focusing on Hidan's nails. "If they're going to survive our high school, we'll have to make up stories for them. Y'know, so they fit in more." She explained.

"Oh, okay. So for Sasori," he looked up at the sound of his name (he was watching TV, waiting for his turn.) "he should live with his grandma and he should like woodshop."

"Okay." She replied and whipped out her laptop and began hacking the school's network. (something she did quite often.) "Hey, don't smudge it!" she ordered Hidan, who was desperately trying to remove the retched color from his finger nails when he thought she wasn't looking.

"And Deidara should a have art." I continued, and then asked Deidara, "can you play an instrument?"

"Uh, yeah, un. The guitar" he admitted shyly.

"Really? That's perfect!" I said

"Yeah, you should be the sensitive (but not gay) kind of guy." scout agreed, then said, "Hidan was abused."

"Why, un?" Deidara wondered.

"How else would you explain the scars, cursing and violence?" she asked.

"Oh, right, un." He mumbled.

"And I think Hidan should have an over worked mom and at least 3 older brothers who bullied him since he was born." I added. "and his elective should be weight training and auto-mechanics."

"What about me, un?" Deidara asked, after finishing my nail polish.

"Art and free period, so you can play your guitar and build up your character more." I suggested.

"Can you sing?" scout asked him.

"Well, I think so, un." He said, embarrassed.

"Good, you can write songs too. Now, we'll start the rest later, but for now, let's go swimming!"

We handed the boys old pairs of my dad's shorts I found in his closet, and told them to meet us out back by the pool. Me and scout pulled our own swim suits on and headed out to the back yard, where the boys were fighting by the pool. They froze and stared. Scout was wearing last years slightly faded and small black two piece bikini with a blood splatter pattern, and I was wearing a black and blue two piece with a wave pattern. I tried to hide behind scout, but she moved. "What are you fucktards staring at?!" Scout demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

"A-are you supposed to be wearing that, un?" Deidara asked, madly blushing.

"Oh…OH SHIT! I forgot to get dressed!" sarcasm dripping off of scout's voice. "Yes, of course I am! This is what girls wear in the pool!" She shouted.

"DAMMMMMN!" Hidan shouted and whistled. Scout slapped him so hard, he fell into the pool.

"Uhhh…well, now that Hidan is in the pool, let's go swimming." I suggested awkwardly. Scout cannon-balled in, landing intentionally on Hidan, who had just resurfaced, with a huge red spot on his cheek. Deidara and Sasori seemed more reluctant to get wet, so I grabbed both their hands and jumped in, pulling both of them with me. SPLASH!!! Cool water engulfed me and I felt Deidara let go, but Sasori hung onto me for dear life. I went to the surface and I took him with me. When we got there, he gasped for air and sputtered,

"DON'T LET GO!!! I CAN'T SWIM!!!"

"Really? I'm so sorry, I had no idea!" I apologized, swimming above water to the shallow end, were we could stand. He looked terrified.

"I'm sorry!" I repeated and hugged him. He clamed down a bit and scout swam over.

"What's with sex puppet?" she asked, swimming around us.

"What's wrong, dana?" Deidara asked, joining us. Sasori was so upset, he didn't even react to scout's nice nick name for him.

"I can't swim!!!" he repeated and clung to me. "AND, I'm afraid of water." He shut his eyes tight and I guided him to the stairs and helped him sit down on a chair and wrapped a towel around him. "What a baby." Scout muttered and jumped on Hidan back. "YOU'RE IT!" She screamed in his ear and swam away, creating a distraction.

"GET BACK HERE, BITCH!" he yelled and dove after her.

"Why are you afraid of water, un?" Deidara asked, getting out and sitting with us.

"In the Suna, we have flash floods when it rains. When I was little, I almost drowned in one of those floods." He explained quietly. "Oh…" I said, dumbstruck. "I never would hav-" I began, but he cut me off.

"No, its okay, you didn't know, and I should have said something."

"I'm getting back in, un." Deidara said and waded back into the pool from the stairs.

"Are you gonna be okay here Sasori?" I asked, wanting to go back in too.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Go have fun." He assured me, stretching out in the sun.

"Okay. Just stay dry!" I told him, and joined Deidara, Scout, and Hidan in the water.

An hour later…

Scout came up from a dive and looked over at the puppet boy, basking in the sun.

"Ha, Sasori, you look like a lizard!" she teased, getting out.

"I AM a lizard." He replied flicking his tongue in and out quickly, like a reptile would. I doubled over in laughter and Scout chuckled and smacked his severely sun burned chest, leaving a big white hand print on his stomach.

"Owwwww!" He cringed in pain.

"YAY! You got sun burned!" Scout cried happily. "I'll go get the ice cubes!" She added.

"I'll get the aloe vera." I said and jumped out. We disappeared inside, and when I emerged holding a green bottle, I found Scout and Hidan sitting around Sasori, dropping Ice cubes on his hot skin, listening to them fizzle. Hidan held down Sasori's arms to keep him from wriggling around too much when Scout dropped the ice cold chunks of frozen water on to him. They both laughed at the fizzling sound and watching the ice cube melt instantly. Sasori was desperately trying to get them to stop, and was squirming around from the cold.

"HEY! You guys! Stop it!" I begged them and knocked the ice cube tray from Scout's hand. Scout went to retrieve it and Hidan followed after her.

"Thank you." Sasori panted and sat up.

"Sure." I said I handed him the bottle. "Here. Rub it in. It will make the sun burn feel better." I told him.

"Okay." He replied and squeezed some green goop out of the bottle and into his hand.

"Ewww…" he grimaced.

"It'll help. Believe me." I reassured him. He hesitated, and then reluctantly rubbed it into his skin, wincing with pain. Scout came back, holding the empty ice cube tray.

"Oh! Aloe vera! This is fun too!" she exclaimed, then turned to me, "And since YOU ruined the ice cubes, I get to help!" she concluded and grabbed the bottle from Sasori.

"Hey, don't I get a say in-" Sasori protested, but Scout cut him off,

"No! Now quit moving around!" she ordered, shoving back down and forcefully rubbing the lotion in as hard as she could.

"OWWW!" Sasori yelped.

"Scout! You're making it worse!" I said, attempting to stop her. She struggled form my grip and called out,

"Hidan help me!" Just then Deidara and Hidan realized what was going on, and came over.

"What?" Hidan asked, towering above Scout.

"C'mon and help me hurt the puppet!" she demanded.

"No!" I told him, and finally got the bottle away from Scout and now Hidan, who didn't really know what was going on, he just wanted to hurt someone. I tossed it to Deidara, and Hidan put him in a head lock. Maybe that wasn't the best idea.

"AHHH, un! You want it so bad?! Then go get it, un!!!" Deidara yelled and threw it in too the pool. Hidan released him and dove in after it.

"Fine." I sighed "I'll just go get some more. Sorry Sasori." I apologized.

"Owww…" he winced as Scout started 'helping' again. She splashed water on to him repeatedly, making more sizzling noises.


	3. Chapter 3

_**(A/N: here's the 3**__**rd**__** chapter. Thank you for the review that helped us finish this =3. Btw, the thoughts are in italics.)**_

15 minutes later…

I had taken a shower, Deidara had taken a shower, and Hidan and Scout had just stepped out of the shower, and Sasori was just getting in the shower.

Scout's POV:

"Pants…pants… pants…where'd I put my pants?" I chanted to my self quietly clapping to the beat. I wrapped a towel around my body and went in search of said pants. Walking down the halls, singing my pants song (I'm weird like that, I know) I slammed into a wall of flesh, i.e., Hidan, causing him to fall on his back and me to fall straddling him… O_o awkward (O//////O).

"Why the fuck are you NAKED!?!?!" he screamed

"Why the fuck are you _WET_!?!?!" _OMFJ I am straddling my favorite anime character… and we are both naked… awesome? No creepy, what if he is mad right now he has the means of _killing_ me you know, only one thing to do…_ "Dude get off!!!" I shouted down at him.

"OFF!?! YOU'RE ON TOP OF ME!!!" _ok bad idea gonna keep going with it though _

"SO THEN GET UP MORON!!!" _yeah that look in his gorgeous amethyst eyes… *sighs* wait no, NO Scout you have to focus what are some kind of fan girl!?! I scolded myself that look in his eyes looks like he is gonna hurt me!!!_

Olivia's POV:

I was sitting the kitchen eating a cookie when Deidara walked in.

"Hi. Wanna cookie?" I asked and offered him one.

"Sure, un." He said and took it. Just then we heard a thud and

"Why the fuck are you NAKED!?!?!" and a

"Why the fuck are you _WET_!?!?!" from upstairs. We both looked at each other and ran up the stairs. We found Scout on top of Hidan. On the floor. Fighting. With a towel on, that was slipping.

"Whaaaaa…?" Deidara said.

"Dude get off!" Scout shouted down at Hidan.

"OFF!?! YOU'RE ON TOP OF ME!!!" he screamed back.

"SO THEN GET UP MORON!!!"

"Um… do you guys need help?" I offered.

"NO!!!" they both yelled in unison at me. Well then. Then the bathroom door opened and Sasori walked out, with a towel wrapped around his waist and one hung loosely over his head.

"Do I want to know?" he asked the half-naked scout and Hidan.

"NO!!" they repeated, louder this time. Then he walked around them to where me and Deidara where standing.

"What happened?" he asked, taking the cookie directly out of my mouth and eating it himself.

"Hey! I was eating that!" I cried, and pulled another cookie out of the bag. Deidara pretended not to notice and answered,

"We don't know, un. We just got here." In the back round, Scout and Hidan are fighting over who should get up first.

"YOU hit the floor last, that means YOU have to get up!" Hidan argued.

"NO…" Scout said in lack of a better response.

"Get a room." Sasori muttered and headed downstairs to get dressed.

"Do you even want to get off me?" Hidan grinned.

"Wha...o-of course I do!" Scout stammered, but remained stationary.

"Well then?" She jumped up and fixed her towel.

"There, my towel was slipping, that's why I didn't get off sooner… oh and tell your towel to stop pointing, its rude." Scout said, pointing Hidan blushed and looked down. AWKWARD!!! "Youwannaanothercookie?" I asked

"YeahIwannaanothercookie." He replied

"Letsgogetanothercookie."

"Rightbehindyou, un." And we dashed out of the room. I wanted to let Scout and Hidan have some alone time.

5 minutes later, me and Deidara were stretched out on the sofa watching sponge bob.

"What is this show about, un? A talking sponge, squirrel, and pink star under water?" he asked as Sasori walked in.

"I don't know. It doesn't really have a

point. But its hecka funny." I answered.

"I don't like his laugh." Sasori muttered after a few minutes.

"Me neither." I agreed cringing at the sponge's high squeaky laugh.

"I like the star fish the best." I said pointing to Patrick on the screen.

"Are you angry?" sponge bob asked his pink friend.

"Yeah." Patrick replied glaring.

"Why?"

"I can't see my forehead." He replied glaring upwards.

"And I have a really good idea and no one else thinks so!" he told sponge bob.

"Really? Me too! What's your idea?" sponge bob asked. Patrick pulled a tab on his green shorts.

"Inflatable pants!" he exclaimed when his pants expanded and he floated upside down.

"Yeah, un." Deidara said, stifling a giggle.

"He's funny." A series of loud thumps came from upstairs and all 3 of us turned to look up at the questionable sounds.

Scout's POV:

I tapped my fingers on the bed anxiously and sighed. _Jashin! Hidan takes FOR-EV-ER how long does it take that horny bitch to cum!... maybe I should go check on him see if he needs hel- NO I AM NOT A PERVERTED FANGIRL!!! BAD Scout…Focus focus… I am not a fangirl… a pervert yes a fangirl NEVER!!! _"Moan"_ man he is not gonna make it easy on me. A few minutes later Hidan come back into my room panting and sweating gloriously! SQUEE! Aw who am I kidding I am a fangirl on the inside! _

"… bitch." Crap _he was talking to me I always do this._

"um… yes?"

"THIS IS NOT A YES OR NO QUESTION!!!" he roared at me

"sorry what did you say?" I asked

"I said why the fuck are you staring at me bitch!" he repeats

"…oh so it wasn't a yes or no question…" _wow I am smart_

"I JUST SAID THAT!!!"

"Jeez don't spit on me, bastard!!!"

Olivia's POV:

We heard more thumps the muffled screaming. Deidara turned 3 shades of red and pulled his knees up to his chest.

"Wow, I didn't know Scout was so easy." Sasori said nonchalantly.

"SASORI NO DANNA, UNN!" Deidara yelped and blushed deeper.

"You can't say that! She'll hurt you, un!" he continued.

"She called me sex puppet." He brought up, obviously still offended. I listened harder.

"No, Scout doesn't moan like that. It's probably Hidan. I should know." I concluded. Sasori smirked.

"See brat, I told you she was easy." He told Deidara.

"NOT WHAT I MEAN'T!!! Scout has 'issues'," I made air quotes, "during storms." I explained.

"What, un?" Deidara asked, not getting it. I sighed and muttered,

"She gets horny."

"Oh…um…un." Deidara spluttered and fidgeted.

"Wait, un. Do you do that too?" he asked hesitantly.

"NO! No, no I don't." I assured him.

"Actually I'm afraid of storms." I admitted looking down.

"Really, un?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's the lightning that really gets me. It sounds just like gun fire. It reminds me that my parents in Iraq could get shot and killed at any moment." I muttered. Then I looked up. "Isn't that stupid?" I corrected myself.

"No! It's not stupid, un. Actually, I'm afraid of the thunder part of the storm, un." Deidara admitted shyly.

"Meh, I don't mind the lightning or the thunder bit, I just can't stand the rain!" Sasori said, making a face at the word 'rain'.

"Really? Why, un?"

"I told you I was afraid of water. I almost drowned when I was little." Just then, a huge CRASH and a final "Ow." came form upstairs. Then all was silent.

…

Scout's POV:

"Ow, that one actually hurt my hand." I complained shaking my hurt hand. "Ow, that one actually hurt my HEAD." Hidan retorted. "Well, then remember that when you try to grope me, I'll hurt you." I replied. "Bitch." He muttered, sticking his tongue out at me. I rolled my eyes and left the room, trudging down the stairs I ruffled towel. "Might wanna get dressed." He called down after me. "SHUT UP!" I commanded and tried to smoothes out my wild hair. When I reached the bottom I saw sex puppet, blondie and olivia gawking at me. "What?" I asked. "You know what, slut." He smirked. "Oo, sex puppet made a crime o' rhyme. I don't know, why are you looking at me like that?" I asked again. "DON'T CALL ME SEX PUPPET!" Sasori yelled. "Um… well, it sounded like you and Hidan were… um…" Deidara began, blushing. "WHAT?! No, no, no, no, no, no, no." I told him shaking my head. "He tried to make a move on me and I punched him. A lot." I added. "Hey, who wants dinner?" I asked, changing the subject. "Hey, who wants Scout to put clothes on?" Olivia said. All 3 of them raised their hand simultaneously. _Right…towel… not the best cooking clothes_. I ran upstairs and changed. I didn't see Hidan any where, so I headed back down to the living room. _Well, I found Hidan_. He was sitting on the floor, watching sponge bob with the others. All he had on were Capri pants. MY pants!!! "Hey! That's were my pants went!" I said pointing. "Don't point, its rude" Hidan mocked. "It's the only thing I could find. "We need to get you some clothes." I stated with finality. "No, we need to find out who they'd be if their going to high school." Olivia corrected me, then she turned to the boys, "We go to dusk creek high. You will be too." Then she turned back to me. "We have to decide who they are before we buy their wardrobe. I mean if we bought Deidara a leather jacket then decided he would be sensitive, not gangster, then that would be pointless. "Right, that makes sense." I agreed. "Wait here." I commanded the boys and me and Olivia turned to leave. Then we headed up stairs and brain stormed.

2 hours later I made dinner (I LOVE COOKING!) _**(A/N: It's a big part of the story, so remember it!!!)**_ and we sat down to eat. "Okay we have decided…"

**(Find out what the boys stories are in the next chapter!!! X3) **_(no, they'll just have to wait.-_-)_


	4. Chapter 4

**_( yeah new chapter, sorry it's short next one will be longer_ we promise_)_ **

_CHAPTER 4_

Olivia's POV:

"Okay…we have decided…" Scout began in an ominous tone. We were sitting around the dinning room table, waiting for the dinner Scout had promised us. Hidan started praying and Deidara looked nervous.

"Can we eat first?" Sasori interrupted.

"No! Now listen!" Scout commanded and took a deep breath and continued, "Now, lets see, who shall we start with? Hmm…" she tapped her finger against her lip and studied the three boys and added, "Since SOMEONE was so rude as too interrupt," She looked pointedly at Sasori, who shrugged. "He will be going last. So let's start with… Deidara!" Scout finished pointing at the blonde.

"Un?" Deidara responded, startled.

"Yes you." She replied and looked at me.

"You start." She prompted me to continue.

"What? But you KNOW I suck at explaining!" I told her, trying to weasel out of it.

"So?" she answered.

"AND, if I tell it, you'll randomly butt-in and add on to everything I say." I explained.

"Duh. And your point is?" she asked, not caring one bit.

"So, YOU tell it." I concluded. And pantomimed zipping my mouth shut and throwing the invisible 'key' over my shoulder.

"Fine." She sighed. "Alright Deidara, You're either gay or cutting your hair." Scout stated.

"Scout!" I exclaimed. "You're doing it wrong!!!" I scolded.

"Who's interrupting who, now?" she countered.

"Fine! I'll do it!" I exclaimed and tried to find a good place to start.

"Okay, First of all, you're all foreign exchange students from Japan. Got it?" I said, addressing all 3 of the boys. They nodded and I continued. "Deidara, since you don't really look Japanese, with your blonde hair and blue eyes, your parents are from Holland. They were both studying Japanese culture when they meet in Japan, then they had you and named you Deidara, cause they love Japan and stuff. And your mom is a super feminist and wanted a daughter, but got you instead, so that's why you wear your hair like you do. It's just to please her. And Sasori, you don't look Japanese at all. Let see, you have to pretend to be my cousin, so that explains why you live here, if any one asks. So, you lived in Canada originally, and you used to have brown hair, but you died it red for a dare. You have a growth issue and that's why you look so young. You haven't grown since you were 15. Your dad (my uncle) made puppets and did puppet shows for a living, but he didn't make that much money so your mom divorced him and left the both of you. Your dad couldn't afford to take care of you so you had to go live with our rich grandma. But then she died and you came here to live with me, your only family."

"Hidan, your family's always been chaotic," Scout took over.

"You don't like to take about your dad, because he abuses you, and you're the youngest of 4 boys. Your mother is really over worked and your brothers and father live to pick on you, and your mother doesn't notice any of that because she's barley ever home, because she has to support a large family, and your dad in unemployed (he got laid off 10 years ago)." Scout summed up. "Any questions?" she asked.

"What was my story again?" Hidan whispered to Deidara.

"How should I know, un? You should have been listening!" he scolded.

"I forgot." He whined

"What? She just said it, un." Deidara whispered in disbelief.

"I wasn't listening, I was staring at her-" Hidan began, but noticed scout glaring at him from across the table. "-Face, I was staring at her face." Hidan quickly rephrased, even though it was obvious what he was going to say.

"What ever, un. Ask scout." Deidara suggested.

"No, she'll eat me!" He screeched.

"Probably." Sasori mumbled

"Don't sound so happy about it, sex puppet." Hidan said, picking up on scouts special name for Sasori.

"Don't call me that!" Sasori miffed through gritted teeth.

"We'll tell your stories again tomorrow," I cut in, changing the subject. "Let all just get some rest. It's been a long day."

"Yeah," scout agreed. "We're going shopping tomorrow!" She exclaimed. I shuddered. I hate going to the mall.

"So, where do we sleep?" Sasori wondered.

"Oh, right. Lets see…" scout said. "Deidara gets the wall, Sasori gets the ceiling, and Hidan sleeps under my bed." Scout joked.

"Alright!" Hidan shouted and made a fist in the air, obviously not getting the joke was on him.

"There's the basement, guest rooms, and my parents bed room, if necessary." I contemplated, ignoring scout and Hidan's comments.

"Basement." Sasori called dibs.

"I guess I'll take a guest room, un." Deidara said.

"Does this mean I can't sleep under your bed?" Hidan questioned.

"Yes, yes it does." Scout answered.

"Fine I'll take a fucking guest room."


	5. Chapter 5

**_(A/N: Sorry it took a while with this chapter, but it's a long one. If you want to see what the characters look like, check out our deviantart:_** _** .com/**_

_**P.S**_. _**in Deidara's point of view, he doesn't think the word 'un' he just says it. FYI.)**_

_sorry about the sizes of the font fanfic is being weird_

* * *

Sasori's POV:****

"NYARG!!!!" wha? "Nyarg!" I heard it again. What is that? "Rarg!"I sleepily opened one eye. 2 inches from my face was a big fuzzy thing with a fang staring me in the eyes. "AHHHHHHHH!" I yelled and tried to get the heavy beast off my chest. "Can't breathe!" I gasped. "Nyarg!" It responded and twitched its whiskers. What is this thing?! "GET IT OFF ME!!! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!" I yelled and squirmed around under its massive weight. I heard a "Sasori?" and a "Danna?" from upstairs. "In here! HELP ME!" I cried. "Nyarg." The black beast repeated. Olivia and brat, I mean Deidara, entered the room, still in their pajamas. "Walrus!!!" Olivia exclaimed. The thing on my chest turned at the sound of its name, then jumped off me and waddled over to her. "Aww! Hi walrus!" She exclaimed and bent down and began petting the creepy animal. "What is that thing?" I asked jumping up the minute it was off me. "This is walrus." She said fondly. "He's my cat." She explained. "Cat? Are you sure?" I couldn't help but ask. I took a second look at it. It was a fat black fuzzy ball. But it did have big cat ears, whiskers and large golden cat eyes. "Where's his tail, un?" Brat asked. "He doesn't have one." She told him. I knew there was something off about it. I think I've heard about that kind of cat somewhere before. What was the word…? Manx! That was it. "Did it get chopped off, un?" Brat asked worriedly. "No, brat, it was born that way. It's a variety of the cat species called Manx." I explained impatiently. "Yeah, he is. I'm surprised you knew that. You're really smart." Olivia complimented me. I felt my self blush as she turned back to brat. "I'm not surprised you thought it got chopped off, though. Most people don't know about Manx's." She told brat, erm, Deidara. I have to stop calling him that. "Oh, un." Deidara uttered and stared at 'walrus'. "It is kind of cute, un." He admitted bending down to scratch it's head. Eww. I'm not touching it. Suddenly, Scout bounded down the stairs. "What's with all the screaming so early in the fucking morning?" she complained, rubbing her eyes. "That thing tried to attack me in my sleep!" I exclaimed, pointing at the freak of nature. "Aww, good boy, walrus!" she cooed, scoping up the huge cat. How is she able to lift him? He was heavier than a toddler! Hidan stomped down the stairs and joined us. "Whoa, what's with the furry bowling ball?" He asked then added, "And what's with Scout?" I looked over at her to see what he meant. Scout was currently nuzzling the cats abnormally sized head, murmuring "Oh, walrus, I love you wally, wallyrus!" It was downright disturbing. It was like watching the devil play with a puppy. "Um, Scout?" Olivia spoke up. Scout snapped out of it and quickly placed walrus gently on the ground. "Alright guys, get dressed, we're going to the mall." She announced, brushing walrus fur of her camouflage army jacket. "Mall?!" Olivia wailed. "But I hate the mall!" "Too bad, the dudes need clothes." Scout grunted. Olivia groaned. "But there are people there!" She whined. "Suck it up and get dressed." she ordered. "Nyarg." Walrus said in agreement. Deidara looked at the source of the noise. "Were you really afraid of walrus, un?" Deidara smirked, stroking walrus as he spoke. "He just caught me off guard," I huffed, offended. "Really? Then your guard is dropping, dana, un." Deidara muttered quietly, not wanting to arouse me. "You know perfectly well my guard isn't as good in the morning, brat." I sniffed. "But its not morning anymore, its fucking noon" Hidan said crudely. "What!?" I shrieked in disbelief. I've never gotten up past 9:00 in the morning before! "That's what happens sex puppet. Here, teenagers sleep till noon…or later." Scout smirked, "Stay up all night and sleep all day, that's our motto," Scout squealed, and grinned. "Please don't make that horrible noise!" I groaned "Yes you're very funny, now rise your self out of the sofa bed, we are going shop-en-ing." Scout preached. Deidara looked at Scout quizzically, "I think you mean shopping, un" he corrected her. "No, I mean shop-ening." She told him. I yawned. "I wanna go back to bed." I sighed. "NO! NOW GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP!" Scout ordered. "YES MA'AM!" I shouted and sprung out of the sofa bed. Her voice has so much authority!

[[HALF AN HOUR LATER…]]

Deidara's POV:

The black pick up truck screeched to a halt when we reached the parking lot of the 'mall'.

*rapid breathing* AHH! I had no idea Scout's driving was so reckless! She almost killed us!

"I HATE traffic." Scout growled at the dashboard. I looked around at the other passengers. Sasori-no-dana was clinging to the seat. He seemed just as shaken as me. As for Hidan, well, he was just bein' Hidan.

"WHOO! LET'S GO AGAIN! I love roller coasters!" he shouted, punching the air. Apparently, he liked Scout's hazardous driving. Olivia didn't seem bothered at all by all the almost-accidents.

"Alright," Scout said, turning to face me dana and Hidan in the back seat. "There are rules in the mall. First of all, stick together. We don't want 3 clueless anime characters wandering around the mall unsupervised. Second, It's my way or the high way. What I say goes." That goes with out saying. Who would dare oppose Scout who valued their life? "And third, Try to act…semi-normal." She finished.

"Define normal." Dana said in the monotone voice he always used.

"Well for one thing, try not to act surprised when you see the size of the mall." Scout suggested.

"How big could it possibly be?" Sasori-dana asked skeptically. Scout unlocked all the doors and replied,

"See for yourself." Hidan opened his door and jumped out of the car, and dana slid out after him. I climbed out of the car and turned to see the 'mall' Sasori and Hidan were now gawking at.

"I-its huge!" We exclaimed in unison. It stood 4 stories high, or six, if you counted the ice skating rink and clock tower on top. There was a huge sign reading, 'KISKA MALL' in big capital letters on the front of the mall. The building itself was made on concrete and was painted grey and white, and it seemed to loom over us. I didn't like it. No wonder Olivia didn't want to come here!

"What's Kiska, un?" I asked hesitantly.

"Kiska's the town we live in and where are right now, dumbass!" Scout stated like it was obvious. How was I supposed to know that? "Oh, un." I replied timidly.

"So let's go already! Hidan and Deidara, you're coming with me. Sex puppet, your going with Olivia." Scout announced, clapping her hands.

"I-I have to g-go with you, un?" I stammered nervously. I don't wanna go with Scout! I wanna stay with dana and Olivia! Scout'll eat me!

"Too bad, now shut up, and let's go already!" Scout ordered and grabbed me and Hidan's arms and began dragging us toward the giant establishment.

"B-but, un…"

"NO BUTS!" Scout snapped. I shot dana a pleading look. He shrugged and Olivia looked sympathetic. Hidan didn't seem to mind being dragged off with scout at all. UN! I don't wanna get eaten! I wanna live! I struggled, but it was no use. She had an unbelievable grip. Before I knew it, we had reached the entrance. There was a row of glass doors, and Scout flung open two at once and pulled us inside.


End file.
